[sic]

A Latin adverb.  A very useful Latin adverb that serves the distinct purpose of reminding the reader that whoever it was that originally wrote or transcribed the quote, spelled or used a word incorrectly.  A very proper way of saying, 'I'm not the one who messed this up, just so you know, but I'd also like to point out that it was misused and that I saw it and I'm aware of the proper usage and I want everyone to know that I'm smart, OK, because I caught the error.'

I'm thinking I'm not a fan.  I'm thinking, wouldn't it be nice if the person just fixed the mistake. I mean, we all could probably guess from the context what was intended.  Why ridicule?  Why do we always have something to prove?

I'm sensitive to this lately.  I am becoming more and more aware of my tendency to defend, justify, and prove myself and my choices.  And I see where, in my life, I ask people to do the same for me.   I'm starting to think it's all really ridiculous, the amount of time we spend justifying our choices.

The simple fact is, we are going to make mistakes.  Lots of them.  I've just begun to fully accept that this is a true and inescapable fact.  I'm not going to be perfect at life, and the harder I try, the less enjoyable it is.  And really, what's the point of living if you aren't enjoying it?  That's all we've really got.  And, even after years of therapy and analysis and trying trying trying to figure out how to live a model life based on other people's standards, I'm still over here making big and small mistakes.  The only thing I can do at this point, in my opinion, is accept that I'm trying my best and enjoy the experience of it all.

I'd like to stop pointing out anyone's errors, including my own.  I'd like to stop [sic]'ing anyone's life, including my own.  If I'm not going to help myself or anyone else by gently whispering in their ear that they've misspelled a word or taken a step in the wrong direction... if I'm not willing to reach out a hand and lovingly guide them back to themselves... if my pride or my need to be seen as right or smart or superior gets in the way of just, being loving to someone else... I'm going to at least keep quiet.  If I can't find it in myself to help, I'm going to at least be sure to not point out to the rest of the world that someone else is doing it even less perfectly than I am.

That's my goal, at least.  Today, I'm going to take one tiny step closer to that goal by... feeling empathy for myself because I do want to be loved and I do seek it in imperfect ways sometimes and that's a painful struggle for anyone who's been there and damn I just feel kind of sorry for myself for being there and I am not going to kick myself while I'm already down because I think I've disappointed anyone in how I've chosen to find some comfort today.  This one day of this one life I have.