Sometimes I get to watch my puppy nephew, Elton. He's 4 months old, a Chihuahua-Dachschund mix, very smart and extremely loving. He's also a great teacher. Here's what I've learned (so far) from spending time with this guy:
People really do want to connect, but they desire a safe way to do so. Dogs are one of the ways we can safely communicate with each other. I notice while walking Elton, that people say Hello and smile more often than when I'm walking alone. I think I'm still learning about this phenomenon, but in the meantime I've definitely learned that I really like saying hello to my neighbors and smiling back at them.
Watching Elton walk down the sidewalk with such unabashed pride and joyful innocence makes me smile from someplace deep inside of myself. It's heartwarming. It's a genuine love for a living thing, outside of myself, simply because. I can only imagine this is multiplied exponentially with one's own children.
Every living thing (but especially Elton) needs warmth and touch. Elton is unapologetic in his asking for love and comfort when he needs it. He has no problem requesting that his needs are met. He finds his way into a warm lap or a warm bed when he is ready to rest his weary puppy body. And when he gets there, he releases. He sleeps til he dreams. He trusts and he enjoys. He just knows how to sleep, and it seems the key to that is a willingness to be vulnerable and to trust the world around him. Elton is teaching me that one of the ways I can sleep better is to trust that everything is just as it should be. The world, my life, is safe and complete. Tomorrow morning I will eat breakfast and go on a walk and see some friends and maybe play a little, too. And even if there isn't someone for me to curl into at night, there are people on this planet who love me, and that's enough.
Be willing to wait for the reward. Elton is realizing that there are rewards for good behavior. He's learning that sometimes he has to wait for his treat, and it's very frustrating, but he's learning that it's out of his control (for the most part). So he does what he knows, he continues to learn what he can, and waits for the rewards he knows he is due.
I know this is not ground-breaking blog material. There are probably hundreds of books, blogs, poems, and elementary school papers written on this very subject. I don't mind. It's new to me. I've been successfully avoiding the obligation, responsibility, and commitment it takes to take care of another living being, and that doesn't just apply to babies and puppies and kittens. It applies to my relationships with people, including myself.
Elton is teaching me that there are deeper sacrifices we can make in life. Fully taking on the responsibility of another living being includes a great amount of sacrifice, but the rewards are rich and cannot be replaced with any other experience. And when it comes from a genuine place of care and love, it feels nothing like obligation. It feels like a gift, to give from the heart, a certain tenderness or care we are born to give to each other and ourselves. It makes me consider the places in my life I've been unwilling to let go of the need to fiercely protect my independence and comfortable single life, and in that choosing, have locked out the deeper experiences of loving.
I still have a lot to learn from Elton. But I am grateful for his precious puppy life and his absolute willingness to just be here with me while I learn about loving.
And I'm grateful to the people in my life who have loved and do love me while I learn so many things about how I want to love and be in this world.
Thanks, Elton.
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