Neat People I Meet

GINGERBREAD

I didn't just meet Virginia recently.  I met her over a year ago when she started to work at the Linkery with me.  I liked her immediately for lots of reasons, including her curiosity, youthful spirit, and willingness to laugh with me and love me without reservation.  She doesn't hide her emotions.  I don't think that she can.  You always know what mood she's in, and most often it's a good one.  But sometimes she gets sad and you always know that, too.  It seems to me that she wants to like most people, but when she just can't, everyone knows.  It's made for some awkward moments, but I've never minded.  I've always loved her authenticity and fierce ability to stand behind what she believes is best for her.  

I interviewed my friend Gin-Gin (I've given her lots of nicknames, which is my way of giving affection to people I love) because I wanted to know her better.  I wanted to ask the questions that friends don't ask each other day-to-day.  I chose her because over the past year as we've both navigated relationships and break-ups and personal growth, we've stopped talking as much as we used to.  

So, on a perfect San Diego June day, we sat poolside in our swimsuits and talked and giggled and gave each other a few minutes of connection.  Here's the interview:

-- How do you feel about your mom? --

I love my mom.  She was and is a good mom.  Always has been there for me.  She taught me how to sew and create art.  She taught me about life.  She never sheltered me.  She taught me to be strong and to stand up for myself.  She also taught me humility... to own up to my mistakes.  She always led by example.  

(What I loved about this answer was that there wasn't a moment of hesitation.  Before I even had the question fully asked she was saying that she loved her mom.  This isn't true for a lot of people.)

-- When was the last time you were angry and how did you show it? --

I can't remember... Jay, cutting hours, being a dick... I showed it by angrily polishing glasses in the hub.  

I don't get angry often.  

I guess it bothered me because he acted like he didn't know me... as if he had never known me... And I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself. 

-- How do you waste time? --

Watch silly cartoons.. but I don't really think that's wasting time...

WORKING! (she giggles, but I think that this is closer to the truth than cartoons)

-- What's something you would change about yourself? --

I wouldn't apologize so much.  I care a lot about what others think of me.  I take care of people, which I think is a good thing.  But I would probably just apologize less.

-- Where do you feel most at home? --

My parents houses in Colorado and Ohio.  My childhood homes.  They feel cozy, quiet, relaxed.  I sleep well there.  I feel taken care of.

-- Do you believe in God? --

I believe in a higher being.  I like things that are the opposite of science.  I believe that things happen for a reason.  I like having faith.  It always disappoints me when someone explains something by making it scientific.  I don't pray, but sometimes I talk to someone.  

-- What is something you find beautiful? --

Friends.  My friends are the most beautiful things...  knowing them is like reading the most beautiful book.  The way we laugh together... just the way it feels to know and see someone.  Also, morning in the mountains when camping, or the morning sun in a meadow... birds... seeing far distances.  

And looking down at the earth from a plane... how big it seems to see the world that way.  

And the stars at night. 

And seeing the moon in the daytime.

And the moon when it is full and close and very big.  

-- What is something you're grateful for? --

I'm grateful for a lot of things.  (At this moment she pretends to be a celebrity and asks me to be sure to write that down.. then she giggles for a little while again.)

Family.  Friends.  Health.  The chance to experience life the way I want to.  I'm grateful for the experience of getting out of something bad and being able to find good things from it.

-- Is there a person you've not forgiven? --

Yes.  James.  Because of how bad he hurt me.  I tried.  I wish I could.  He still blames me... and he made me blame myself.  I just don't think he deserves it. I've moved on and I think I've let it go.  But forgiveness.... maybe... but it wouldn't fix it. 

-- If you could make a living doing anything, what would it be? --

Art.  Painting, photography, artsy film.  I would have a space that would be free for people.  They could come and share their art and sell their art without having a gallery take a share.  

-- Ask me a question --

Why did you pick me? (Ginny asked)

I picked you because I missed you, and I thought about how we stop asking friends questions after a while... if we ever do.  I thought about how we just live in the day-to-day, and maybe now and then we learn something, but it always seems accidental and not intentional.  I wanted to pay attention to you and learn about who you are.  Know you more deeply.  Because I care about you and know that there's a lot more to know. 

And this was the end of our interview.  I don't think I know Gingerbread much better.  I mean, it seems that a part of me already knew these things, even if the exact words had never been spoken.  Maybe that's how friendships work.  You ask enough questions in the beginning and the rest is just intuition. I was grateful for the chance to know some details though, and now when I see a bird flying through a meadow in the morning sun, I'll probably think of Gingy and I like that.  She's one of the most adoring and loving people I know and she deserves to be thought of when seeing beautiful things.